Mar 23, 2012

Being hurt, again and again, i just love being a masscommer~!

My life as a Teslian would probably be the best moment ever. I met new friends, great lecturers, easy subjects, nice campus and perhaps a nice boyfriend too. but as the earlier posts had stated, those memories turned to dark when my boyfriend left me and my dreams of becoming a Teslian once again is taken away from me. And so now, I’m a Masscommer. Though i hate to be called that at the first time but now, I started to like that title. A Masscommer.

Last night, i went to meet my Tesl friends who are now studying in language field like Tesl and Akedemi Pengajian Bahasa. I did not realize about my action because i was trying my hard to fight and forget my headache. When we’re about to get back, my very best friend, a male, told me something. “Diana, I think your ex left you because you are being gedik (slut-like)” that sentence struck to my mind and went straight to my heart. It pained my pride, tore my heart into pieces and burnt it into ashes and every joint seemed aching. It hurt so much that I almost exploded.

I know just how much he meant by those words. And then i told him that he was wrong. I confronted my ex and he said the reason why he left me was because i was too kind for him and he was flirting with someone else when we were parted. That was the reason. I didn’t make it. He told me that. How could someone i love and care so much told me that i was being gedik?

He sent me to my sister’s room. I stayed there for a while and then pretended that my friend needed me and i have to go back. I hate him because i had to lie to my kakak. I took another exit but he saw me and offered me a ride. I would rather die than to face him again and have to bear his insults.

I vowed when my ex left me. I vowed not to be a nice little girl who doesn’t care about herself and just think for the sake of anyone else. That was me. Now, i just want people to respect me. In this brutal world, people will no look at the innocent girl like i used to be. A brutal world needs a brutal girl. I admit it, it was hard to transformed myself to be like this. But people’s habit demand me to be a gedik girl.

So dear friends, accept me the way i am or else, GTFO