Apr 21, 2011

It Was Today....

Today, I went to the interview. To be more specific, job interview. I woke up and I know what I’m feeling about today. It was not a good day. I don’t really want to go to work because of my health problems. You know, I mentioned earlier in this blog. I just loss another kg today. The scale showed me with its LED face that I am now weight 47 kg. I can see my mother’s worried face. To make it worst, I got the job. The job needs me to be there right on 9.30 a.m. and leave at 10.30 p.m. what the hell? I need to get up so early in the morning and walk for about half a kilometre to reach the bus stop and wait for the bus. I gonna have to deal with the rude foreigners who are also going to work in the same bus with me. I hope that they will behave this time. I don’t have him to protect me on that moment.


The manager or interviewed me. He’s a Chinese. He said that my basic salary will be RM 600.00 per month but I have to work more hours so he gave me about RM 800.00. minus socso, I will only get RM 750.00.

*sigh* (again)

Then, I looked at my back. There were two staffs. A Malay and an Indian. Both are guys. The Indian was quite friendly. Over friendly I assumed. Smiling at me from ear to ear. I guess I have to be really prepared to work there. Plus, I have to make sales. So, who wants to buy Gintell’s product? Do tell me. It is not easy to sell something like that. It’s pricey and people who shop at Tesco are normally from middle-class family. I could afford it but they seem not to see what’s the benefit of getting it.

*sigh* (one more time)

Well, what are other choices do I have? I can’t just sit back and relax at home. I need to get myself busy. I need to give him some space for himself. Let him rest and let me not bothering him. I have to make something to fill my empty days. I really hope that I could find some peace of mind not to think of my problems. I just need to be afraid of fainting in front of the people for not eating. I can only have a time to go out 45 minutes during lunch and dinner hours. I have to pray on that time.

*sigh* (for the last time cause it’s bad for my health)

I can only tell myself to be strong and stronger each days of my life. I don’t have any choice. Let me suffer from physical torture rather than mental torture. When I get home tonight, I don’t feel like telling my step father about my work. He doesn’t even want to listen to it. He scolded me for that yesterday. He scolded me for helping Fahmi to find a room around the area of Melaka Raya. He wants to work at Singtel. He asked me to work with him but I don’t think my parents will allow me to work there. My mother said that the place is not good for me and I don’t have a transport to go there. It’s so sad to leave my mother alone in the house but I guess she’ll be fine. She’ll have a laptop to keep her preoccupied.

*sigh* (really hope this is the last time)

I wanted so much to surrender myself to ALLAH and pray to him to save me but I can’t. I know he can hear my heart is crying right now. Please, Ya ALLAH. Give me happiness instead of sadness. Please cheer me up. I’m dying from loneliness.

Apr 14, 2011


Last two weeks was probably one of the best weeks of my life. My friend, Maiza was having her second semester break and I had finished my Asasi TESL program (degree starts in September). We arrange an outing to our high school and then we hit the town.

Maiza, as the size I expected she still was, told me a lot of stories from her college and I told her mine. When we were at the school, we met our favourite library teacher, Ms. Jamy... Maiza, was running back and forth of the library like she used to be. She was funny but that is she. She is a carefree person and will always have a smile on her face.

Maiza also surprised me by telling me that she was wearing heels and started to like pink colour and Hello Kitty... OMG!!!! I just can’t believe my ear of hearing her saying that. I was so stunned by her confession. She was really not into these girly things back in high school. I guess, college life had really made she turned into a lovely little monster.

When we arrived at Melaka Central, she aimed for the ATM. She jumped on her little feet when she saw that her PTPTN was in. She withdrew some of her money then we started to shop like mad.

We travelled by bus so we don’t have to worry about parking the car. Plus, I don’t have a license to drive and she is too short to reach the pedals. Haha! J.K!

We stopped by the Jonker Walk. A place where there is no one but tourists. She said that her friend asked her to buy Nyonya’s umbrella. It’s so famous in Melaka, traditionally made and used by the Baba and Nyonya’s family. We got ourselves two identical blouses (in the picture). We even got into the fitting room together. You might think that is weird. It is because all of the staffs looked at us with wide eyes.

Then, we went to Dataran Pahlawan (the most well-known shopping complex in Melaka). This is where I, my friends and most of the teenagers in Melaka went to “lepak”.

I aimed to buy a pair of new shoes and she just want to shop for anything that looks nice (I guess). So, I got myself a pair of platform and she bought herself a pair of sneakers. We ate at Kaizer. She bought so many things for her siblings and mother. She got her sister a birthday present and a bracelet for each of her little sisters. She also bought her mother a ring. Then, she made a pre-order of a Korean artist’s album from Korea and paid RM 100.00. Huhu, she is indeed a crazy little spendthrift (sengal!).

We also invited our friend, Azmee. He walked with us carrying Maiza’s Nyonya’s umbrella in his bag. He is so funny. There was one time when we were waiting for bus; he said that he watched 16 SX movies when he was 18. We laughed our eyes out at his convoluted sentence. We were having so much fun together.

We went back when the sky was dark. Or maybe because my mother and my boyfriend called saying that it’s late. I got the message; if I’m not at home by 9, I will never be allowed going out again.

The next day, my mother brought me to a place where I will get a spiritual treatment. She asked me to invite Maiza accompany me.

Two days later, I accompanied Maiza to pay her college bill at the bank. Then, we headed to Jusco because she wanted to buy her mother a new stove. Before that, we had our lunch at the roof of Jusco. It was very windy and we were allowed to make so much noise since we were away from other people.

Going out with Maiza reminds me of myself when I was in high school. When I do naughty things like making sandwiches in the library and laugh like I own this whole world. And now, I am so lady like that no one will believe me if I was naughty before. Only Maiza does and I wish that I will never lost Maiza in my life. I LOVE U, MAIZA!!!

p/s: good luck for you third semester... miss u here in Bukit Rambai...